Ok women…stop saying you’re fine. Fine is the standard response we give whenever someone asks us how we are doing and we aren’t really sure what to say back. Saying you’re fine is a cop-out response.
What is it that you really want? Why are you saying fine instead of – I’m amazing OR well, life is really rough right now. Commit to how you are really feeling, and then if you want to make a change…do it. Here is our advice on how to making that happen…
Fine is the enabler for the surface level reason
For example I hear women tell us all the time that they want to lose weight because they need too, or they want to fit into their shorts.
And to that I say – B/S. You’re telling me you’re fine. I want to know what is you real deep down reason for wanting to lose weight? We want you to get crass here and maybe even a little (ok – a whole lot) selfish.
We recently had a working mom reach out to us and say she needed to lose weight. When I begin asking her why – she gave me the typical – well, I am overweight and I need to lose weight. I am a little foggy and tired all the time.
I said “uh-huh – tell me more”
The conversation eventually turned into..
She was tired all the time because she barely stopped to eat anything healthy. Sure, her kids who were athlete sate healthy and she made healthy meals, but she barely had time to sit down and eat them. She hadn’t had sex with her husband in months because after a long day at the office she was too tired.
When I probed – is that the real reason? She said no…I feel too embarrassed by this excess weight. I am so out of shape everything makes me tired. She also went on to say that at the office she’s worried about her weight because there are a few other women that are really in shape. If she was skinnier (her words) she would be much more confident. At the end she said, I think I know what to do, but I just can’t seem to find the right balance.
I knew we were finally at the point to make some real change. A step by step approach to getting her real results and making a change.
Lets be honest here, there is no reason to recreate the wheel. There are so many programs out there for losing weight, getting leaner or changing any habit you really need to improve. The biggest challenge here is not allowing yourself “Fruity reasons” a term Mel Robbins refers to when you tip toe around what the real reason is, because what would people think if you really told them why you wanted to lose weight or get healthier.
I am here to say – be selfish with your health. You only have one life to live, and you might as well enjoy it as much as possible. Until you get to the real – sometimes embarassing and selfish reason as to why you want to make the change, you will never stop telling people you’re fine!
What’s next
If you have questions about fitness and nutrition – lets chat. We are married, moms, business owners and yes, in the thick of perimenopause so we get you, on whatever journey or part of your life you are at. Our goal is to help you live your best life and to honestly listen.
For more on our programs you can check them out here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/strengthandgracefitness/
And you can also join our free group full of information here: https://strengthandgracefitness.com/our-services/
If you’d like to read the entire book that inspired this blog post – check it out here: https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Saying-Youre-Fine-Getting/dp/0307716732